On the subject of datingsites

You will all know by now, I am single! (duh). I have been single for the glorious amount of 3 years and 1 month. There was a time when I needed to let my heart heal and reflect on what had happened. And to be happy with myself again, in a way that was possible for me.

A few months ago, I put up a profile on a datingsite. Pictures, likes, dislikes, I am sure you know the drill. The reactions I have had from this profile have been incredible in many ways.

No offense to the good guys out there, but what has the male population come to!?

“hey, hot stuff” or “how much do you ask for a night” or “you arrogant bitch”, when I reply in a tactful way I am not interested. One of the many rude messages I receive on a weekly basis.

And it is only the beginning. There is this guy who made a profile, without realising it was a datingsite?? (he thought it was like facebook). We talk, he mentions his girlfriend, I ask him his purpose on this medium then…..that was 4 months ago. Every few weeks, he now comes online to check whether I am online. Mostly around 1 am. Happy in a relationship? Somehow I think not.

Then there was this guy, married, happy in his marriage (or so he claims). He is online for one reason. Sex!

I met someone about two months ago. Absolutely lovely chap (or so I thought). He allegedly moved to a foreign country when our convos got a bit too familiar. Although his account is still saying he lives in Antwerp. (you cant change that setting, the account uses gps. It will tell you were you are at the moment of log in). Yesterday he contacted me. He was “in the country” and he wanted to come for a “nightly visit”. The virtue of a lady is worth what to some guys?

Couple of days ago I met someone from my area. We talk, talk, talk…nothing out of the ordinary, nothing unrespectful, just a lot of banter and happy fun times getting to know this person. I am stupid enough to trust it this time and hand over my twittername. Two days down the line, I notice I got blocked and the guy deleted his datingaccount. Nothing out of the ordinary was said, no mean words, no fights. No explanation either. I put energy into getting to know someone and this is the treatement I got for the time offered.

What I mean to say, is that dating has changed. When I was younger I’d meet someone and we would go out for drinks and a good conversation. If it clicked, we’d meet again. Perhaps a sneaky kiss on a second date. A text perhaps, or a lovely email in between. Respect towards eachother was still important and dating was an exciting passtime.

Now dating has become a minefield of rude obnoxious messages, sex, adultery, disrespect! Like everything else we throw away, from garbage to unused furniture, are we now USED in the same way for sexual gratification?

Obviously I do not know how men get treated online. I can only talk for myself and my lady friends. And honestly, guys, we are BAFFLED. Why is it so hard to use good manners and talk properly to a lady? Why is it so hard to talk from the brain and not from the neither region? And can I also ask, why are men frightened of women with an opinion? Scared we’d outwit you? Look again, we do that on a daily basis anyways.

Men often wonder why women are or becoming hardcore members of feminist groups. I can tell you why….because of your behaviour! Isn’t it time to treats us as we deserve?