The day I had to say: “I told you so”

Today I had to say: “I told you so”. It wasn’t an “I told you so” I ever wanted to say in my life! Because I was hoping it would never happen again.

Almost to the day, 3 years and 8 months ago, I pointed my now ex boyfriend the door. Behind my back he had been drinking and doing drugs for months. When he was caught redhanded by his family and myself, I knew it meant the end of our relationship.

A mere week after our separation, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive.

For people who know me, and most of you do, Henry is my sweet and cheerful Monkey. He is my pride and joy. And together with his sister my whole world! Having him meant my little family was complete.

Henry’s dad went into forced rehab. Not only did he drink and take drugs. He turned out to have some severe mental problems, of which pathological lying is one of them. He conned his parents and others (including me, I am still paying off debts) out of thousands of euros. He stayed in rehab for almost a year. After those few months, he found himself another girlfriend, which he married within 6 months of dating. In that time he has seen Henry once (when Henry was 8 months) and paid me about 300 euros in child maintenance in 2 years 11 months.

Today, quite out of the blue, we met his mother. We hadn’t seen her in as many years and she might have seen Henry once or twice. I can’t actually remember. What she told me…..I was horrified all over again. Embarrassed, she told me “you were right”. “You were right to keep Henry away from his dad”. “He has started all over again and this time it is even worse”.

I admit, when we were negotiating a deal for Henry’s dad to have parental visiting rights, I was ridiculously cautious. I won’t go into fine print here, but the safety of my child was paramount. When he saw my conditions, he bailed out. I haven’t heard from him since. Till today, that is.

Henry’s dad is back into a pychiatric facility. Since the beginning of June. His wife is divorcing him and his former employer apparently has a lawsuit against him.

“I told them so” …… I didn’t know how long it would take, but my gutfeeling was right. I wish it wasn’t so. I wish Henry could have a nice, loving, caring dad!

Some people ask me why I am a tough biscuit when it comes to men and dating and all the jazz around it. Well, now you know. All in the open. I haven’t dated anyone properly in 3 years and 8 months.

Alcohol and drugs destroy not only yourself, it also destroys everyone around you. For years!


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