An update in the life of a single mum.

It has been awhile since I have last written a blogpost. We have been incredibly busy the last few weeks and months! As some of you might know, we moved from a 2 bed flat to a 3 bed house with garden. Organising this, as well as taking care of my kids and doing my housework took me the better part of 6 weeks. The day of the move went really smoothly and after 17 hours hard graft (and with lots of helping hands of some lovely friends) I was officialy moved in and unpacked.

My daughter Elizabeth went to see her daddy in July for the entire month. Giving me a welcome break of “why’s” and “how’s” and also gave me the chance to spend some quality time with Henry. Which was necessary, because he decided to cut five-six molars at once. Can’t even begin to think how painful that must have been, with blood even running out of his mouth.

At the end of July my mum, Henry and I went to London, to have a feel of what the Olympics were like. We saw the torch, met up with some lovely tweeps. (one of my new hobbies, meeting people you get to know online on twitter. Surprisingly lovely meetups and friendships!). We also did the (semi) touristy thing in London, as in seeing the sights. I say semi, because I used to live there. So know my way around the public transport system, etc…makes life in London easier.

We have been home for a week now. And my little family is complete again. It took us some time to adjust to the new house and a new routine, but we are slowly regaining our normal lives.

And that’s when it happens…..as long as I was busy and doing all sorts of projects, my mind was occupied and I don’t think about things. But last night, it hit me again like a brick wall. I had a good friend over for a chat. For both of us life is a complicated affair and talking about it, brought emotions out for the both of us. For me it meant the nagging feeling of wanting a companion in life started gnawing again. I don’t mind saying, I have put myself on a dating site in May and I did talk to some people via email. But those convos dried up, without any proper meetups. I do try to invest time and energy in people and try to get to know them, but it all seems very futile. I did meet some new people in real life as well and they are becoming excellent friends. However, the feeling of wanting to share my life with that someone special….it is staring me right in the face. And then there is that “gutfeeling”, that I am on the brink of actually meeting someone who will be my partner…have had that feeling since about March-April. Very annoying!

Oh well, old cliché of time will tell! I do dread to go back into another long winter, without someone by my side. I had a bout of depression last winter and I am fearing I might slip into it again. The feeling of loneliness is not a feeling I like to revisit again. I am going back to college in 6 weeks. Keeping me occupied, keeping my brain going. Keeping my life a routine and on track is all I can do. And staying positive!

Have any of you have had such feelings lately? How did you cope with it? Are you looking for a partner and how do you go about it? Would love to hear some reactions!

Bye for now,

Deborah

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