It has been a long while, since I have written a blogpost. But the last couple of days I have been feeling so utterly miserable, I am feeling the need to write down what has been brewing inside of me.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. A day all mums celebrate, being granted the gift of life. When mums are put on a pedestal by their kids and spouses and receive a “thank you for taking care of us”. I have seen men and children running around town this week, picking out precious gifts. I have seen pictures being posted of gorgeous bouquets. All for their own special mum.
Today, I bought roses for myself! As I have done for the last four years. I have been blessed by two wonderful children. The loves of my life! But every year, at Mother’s Day, my heart breaks. And it hurts so much.
As a single parent, you have to fight every day for your right to be a respected member in society. I have known people who look down on me, for being a single parent. Even this week, I was called a loser, on benefits! And although most of the times, I just let it go, this time around it was more difficult. I am trying to raise my two children to wonderful people. I spend an enormous amount of time into their upbringing and education and tomorrow, on Mother’s Day, it will be just like any other day. Whereas other mums will be pampered, here is a single mother whose heart will be in a thousand pieces. Why? Because I feel I deserve some recognition as well!
Tomorrow, I will not have the lovely man or husband sneaking out of the bedroom to go to the bakery with his kids and bring mummy breakky in bed. Tomorrow I won’t enter the living room filled with lovely things my family has picked out. Tomorrow I won’t be taking out for dinner. Tomorrow I will only be reminded what my past has led led me to. And at this moment in time, I feel very much like a failure. Not on a pedestal, but somewhere deep in a gutter. When mums are being celebrated for doing one hell of a job, single mums get overlooked.
This post is for all single mummies out there. If you feel Mother’s Day is going to be a hard day, it is ok! Be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished in the last year. You have worked hard, you have done a good job! Give yourself a thumbs up, if nobody else will do it for you! And perhaps, do like me….buy yourself some flowers. Promise, it will cheer you up!
After reading this post, you might think I am a huge whinge. And yes, I DO count my blessings. But there are also days when I count my misgivings. When I wish really hard, tomorrow wouldn’t have to be a day full of struggles. When I wish I can be a mum, just like other, happy, mums. Not a single parent.