When the universe doesn’t speak but shouts!

By now you all know the reasons why I have started this blog. To underline the difficulties single parents face in our society.

Last night I went through an experience, I will never be able to forget, but which highlights again the fact that we need to get heard! So here goes….

I spent the afternoon with the kids at my mum’s house. Mum needed some help, as she wasn’t feeling well and I needed to do some stuff as well online. Around 8 pm we decided to take the bus back home. At one of the busstops a mum tried to get in. She had a three year old boy with her. Clearly this mum had too much to drink. She stumbled to her seat, the little boy in tow. We drove on to the final stop (the station), where the bus stopped quite abruptly. What happened then is actually very hard to tell. The little boy was sitting on his knees in the chair and when the bus stopped, he toppled over (about a meter and a half down) and smacked the back of his head hard against a ledge. About ten people just casually walked off the bus, not caring, while the boy was in tears. Mum, well, she was just sitting there, seemingly unaware what just happened.
I decided to take my own kids off the bus. Told my oldest one to keep an eye on her brother, while I got the screaming boy off the bus to check him over. I noticed he wasn’t bleeding and that he was conscience enough to give me his name. I tried my best to comfort him. His little arms clutching me tight. My heart just broke.
A few seconds later, mum stumbled out of the bus. She grabbed her child off me and started walking. I took my own kids and ran after her. She needed to go to hospital straight away, in case the little boy had a concusion or worse! Her reaction: “I will go to the doctor tomorrow” and off she went. Knowing that there was a chance this child wouldn’t survive the night if he was seriously injured, I kept walking beside her, trying to talk to her. By then another man came to my aid, asking me if I needed help. Thank goodness he was there! I explained what happened and he thought the same as me. We needed to call the police. So he did. I kept talking to the mum. She said: “I am a single mum for a whole year, and it is hard!” This struck me so hard! “trust me, love, I know!” The man next to me: “I am a single dad and I struggle combining parenting and going to school”

So, there we were. Three single parents walking the streets of Hasselt. One mum, who simply drowned her sorrows in liquor and who admitted in a stupour she wasn’t coping. One dad (who became dad at a fairly young age) and me…with my kids.

The universe wasn’t trying to tell me something, it was SHOUTING: “DEBORAH, LOOK AROUND, OTHER PEOPLE LIKE YOU, ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE AND THEY NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP!

A few minutes later, the police came and took mum and her little boy with them to the hospital. I hope, this is mum’s wake up call and that social services find this case severe enough to investigate further. I sincerely hope this mum gets some immediate help.

This experience really shook me to the core. People in government need to start realising NOW they have a HUGE PROBLEM on their hands. It hasn’t even been a week since I started this blog and then this…….Three single parents on the streets of Hasselt. All with their own sets of problems…..and I am not even trying to scratch the surface. I haven’t even tried to reach out to others.

The question now is: What do we need to do to get heard? I am starting here with you, dear people of the net. Share this, if you please. Even if you are not a single parent. We need to defend the weakest of our society, our kids most importantly: support their carers….and it all begins with a bit of compassion and a ton of knowledge!

20120126-154237.jpg

4 thoughts on “When the universe doesn’t speak but shouts!

  1. Wow it’s so hard to know what to do in that situation, but you did the right thing.

    I had a situation where I walked past a parked car with my little girl and there was a similar aged boy strapped in the back screaming his head off. No sign of any adult or carer around. I tried to talk to him through the window to ask where his mum or dad was and he kept screaming he didn’t know.

    Most people walked on by, but one lady stopped and I called the police. They asked me if the door was unlocked, so I checked. It was open and just as I’d opened it a woman came tearing out of a house 4 doors up screaming at me. Luckily I was still on the phone to the police. I tried to explain that her son was frightened and had been crying for 10 minutes or more. She said she’d been watching from the window and he was fine. Then gave me a whole load of verbal, snatched her boy out of the car and stormed off!!

    Anyhow, Well done for trying to help. Not every single parent is struggling, but the ones who are need to know where to ask for help. x

  2. Wow – what a story. Thanks for sharing. Trust me, after having a son with all of the love and support around me, and still struggling to keep afloat, i now have so much more respect for single parents. Sounds like you’re doing a great job!

  3. This is truly life as we know it! Thank God we have an online community of people who share our stories, challenges and victories.

    It was awesome the way you and that dad took charge of the situation. That mother may not have been in her right mind that night, but you two planted a seed that will hopefully grow inside her heart and mind for the future.

  4. The situation of the boy and his mother is upsetting. The apathy of the bystanders strikes me just as hard. People don’t seem to realise what’s important anymore, living in an alienating society has made them them forget what’s really important.

    I’m not sure what it takes to get through to people who prefer to live in the daily illusions an deceit, offered by our society (through conumerism, politics, etc.). I have lost the ambition to try to convince people, because it makes me feel like a politician myself (telling people what to do and what not, what’s important and what not). So I skipped that, and I’m trying to be a better person, being alert and making an effort to shine a bright light into the dark corners of my own personality. I’m getting back in touch with my real feelings, with my body intelligence, with the energies I have inside and with the energies that surround me.

    I am integrating some obvious truths into my life – truths that some people consider highly uncomfortable. For example: nowadays, money is an illusionary chain, used by governments and corporations to keep people on a leash. Or: if we wait for our government to solve our problems, we’re sure to end up in dire straits. I could give more examples of ‘my’ truths, but as I said: I’m not a politician.

    Living according to these truths is drastically changing my life, and some people who dearly embrace the money-work-rush world even start to question my mental sanity. Living close to the truth, close to my own feelings, inuition and body intelligence is sometimes very unnerving and uncomfortable. But in general it is bringing about a sense of balance in my life, which reminds me of my childhood. And I am starting to notice, little by very little, that people can sense this balance. People actually see that things can be done in a different way.

    “If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation” – Lao Tzu

    The clue is that self-transformation is easier to achieve with the help of others🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s