The harder the struggle, the more glorious the triumph. Self-realization demands very great struggle.
I think we can say single parenting is a struggle. However you become a single parent, the end result is the same. Trying to raise your children, while juggling your finances, your massive responsibilities and duties, not to forget your emotions. And then you have those little, tiny, everyday struggles, that cause more nuissance than you like. But which you have to do regardless. I’d like to talk to you about those right now.
Living in a flat on the second floor
When you struggle financially, you have to live by your means. Four years ago, I started renting this flat because it was cheap(ish). The absolute pain in the bottom is the fact it is two floors up, without a lift. When you have a two parent family, it isn’t that big of a deal. However, can you picture it doing this on your own: taking two kids, toys, schoolbag, handbag, groceries, etc…up two flights of stairs. I do it three times a day, if not more. First the kids and the bags. Get kids out of their coats and shoes. Put them in the living room. Go back downstairs to get the rest…does my head in!
Not owning a car
Again a result of struggling financially. I don’t own a car. Frankly, I don’t need a car, but sometimes I wish I did have one. Especially now my local supermarket has decided moving out of my neighbourhood was a good idea. Pet peeve of the week: The weekly grocery shop. I only go once a week, as it really is too far away to do it everyday. So, with one hand I push the pram, with the other hand I pull an overloaded trolley. Next to a road, where speeding is generally looked at as acceptable. And then I still try to make sure my daughter, who is walking besides me, is safe! At least I don’t need to pay a gym membership to stay fit! I’ve climbed Ben Nevis twice in under 7 hours return, without the slightest preparation!
All the times I need to grow more hands
Sometimes I think I need to become Shiva and grow more hands. As a single parent there are times I should be able to do things at the same time. Picture this one: When changing a nappy, the oldest says “mummy, toilet now please!!” I promise, you learn to change a nappy really quickly then! Or this one “mummy, can you wipe my hands?” when you are feeding the little one. And you know when you say yes and wipe her hands, the little one will stick his hands in his food and decorate his hair. But when you say “please wait” the waiting will not happen and the sticky hands will go everywhere in a matter of nanoseconds.
Today was one of those days, the little struggles came crashing down on me. The kids were in a superdemanding ~how can we annoy mummy the most mood by asking everything at the same time~ I had to go groceryshopping AND drag the whole lot upstairs. By the time the clock hit 5 pm I was shattered and decided dinner was going to be pizza.
Those are the daily struggles….would you still like to know about the harder ones?