Feeling ashamed to be a single parent

Plans over charging to use the British Child Support Agency

I was watching BBC breakfast news this morning and this headline caught my attention. People in society really don’t get it, do they?

As a single parent, you first have to deal with a relationship breakup. Then the harsh reality of finances kick in. You would think a government would actually try to defend the weakest in society and help them on their way, to get those finances sorted. Especially when the other parent refuses to share the financial responsibilities. The fact the UK government now wants to put a price on that help, is in my view pure theft. Theft from the children who are in dire need of that money. 100 pounds of “entrance fee” so to speak and up to 20% of the child maintenance would be paid into the CSA.
The single parent doesn’t only get emotionally broken, they also get spat in the face and are given a feeling of guilt, because they got stuck in such a situation!

I frequently feel guilty I am stuck in a similar situation. I’ve had people coming up to me saying: ” but isn’t this what you wanted?” REALLY PEOPLE, IS THIS WHAT I WANTED? To be financially stuck, to be begging for money (yes, it happens on a monthly basis)….why don’t you just kick me further in the dump I am in and laugh a bit more?

But how will the way society is looking at single parents change, if even the changemakers are trying to put us down even more? How will we get respect for what we do, if we are being made to feel ashamed of who we are?

Why are we looked at as the lowest of society, when we have the most important job in the world?

One thought on “Feeling ashamed to be a single parent

  1. Thank you. Saw this through Twitter and have just split from my husband, so I’m a lone parent with a six-month-old. It’s not easy, but my boy gives me strength every day. The cuts come just as I’ve started to get my head around what I may or may not be entitled to. It’s a minefield, as not only am I constantly busy with my son, I have to research, fill in forms, chase, get my finances in order and be utterly shocked at solicitor’s fees. I hear legal aid may also be cut.

    I never wanted to be in this position – you don’t go into a marriage or plan a child to think you may end up breaking up. Crap happens and some things are a bolt from the blue. Let’s get out placards out in protest. Oh, hang on, I don’t have the time.

    Good blog post 🙂

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