Midnight conversation with my cat

2 AM

Me (waking up): “Cat, what are you doing?”

Cat: *lick, lick lick, lick* “I am licking your hair, can’t you tell?”

Me: “I can, you woke me up!”

Cat:*lick, lick* “it is NICE, what is it?”

Me: “it is called shampoo, I wash my hair with it. Would you please stop now?”

Cat: “no” *lick*

Me: “I REALLY need to sleep now, cat, STOP IT”

Cat:*lick* “OK, O K, bossypants”

Me: “thank you!”

Cat:*lick*

Me: “what are you doing!?”

Cat: “whoaaaaaa, this is sooooo tasty!” [licks forehead] “what did you use HERE?? *lickilicklicklick*

Me: *sigh* “that is moisturiser, GO TO SLEEP ALREADY ANIMAL”

Cat: “FINE” *gets up and moves about*

Me: “cat!”

Cat: “what what?”

Me: “you are sleeping ON my head!”

Cat: “ofcourse, I cleaned it, it is miiiiiiine” *pppppuuuuurrrrrrs*

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